I don't wanna be...

I don't wanna be...

Alone

I don't wanna be...

left out

I don't wanna be...

thinking all sorts of stuff by

myself

I don't wanna be...

trapped in my own world

I don't wanna be..

doing things that I'm not supposed to do anymore

I don't wanna be...

hurt anymore

I don't wanna be...

staring at the window waiting for an answer

anymore

I don't wanna be...

crying silently by myself anymore

I don't wanna be...

talking to the moon about my feelings anymore

I don't wanna be...

walking on this path all alone anymore

I don't wanna be...

feeling empty anymore

I just don't wanna be...

FAKING IT ANYMORE

Ever since sem break started I've been feeling so empty and so lifeless.It made me felt like there nothing worth for me here anymore.But there's ups and downs during this sem break,during those down moments I've encounter back the old Carmen I've once known.

The one who couldn't think stuff positively

The one who would always think too much

The one who wouldn't want to share what's in the lil' heart

I'm guessing maybe it's because I've spend to much time alone.And I dare to admit that I'm afraid of...

being alone.

Sometimes I just don't understand myself,why am I such a curious person,a person who would have loads of stuff in their mind once they saw something that they didn't wanna see,or have known something that they didn't wanna know.

Each time I was left alone at home,with no one to talk to...

I look into the sky,trying to at least let out my emotions.

Why didn't I try finding someone to talk to about this?

Yes I wanted to,but the me I've known for this 19years wouldn't wanna do something that would trouble others.

And yes,I've also tried saying prayers and telling God my problem.But the emotions that I wanna release just wouldn't let go.

SOoooo...

Instead of troubling my friends,I blog!

writing all my troubles makes me feel better.

And oh yea,my friends would definately make me feel better too.

they always doo...

And I know as soon as I go back to college,I'll be the bubbly and happy Carmen again.Hopefully=]

It sucks to see myself so lifeless and colourless.

So all I wanna be.....

Is myself that I liked most

The strong,fun,smiley,and bubbly Carmen

who would forgive and forget easily.

CARMEN DIANNE NGOOI SU LINGGGGGGG!!!

No matter what

just be back the one girl you've once been.

That's all I wanna be.